Commentary practice

Please post a quotation and comment on the writing STYLE…

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Published in: on October 7, 2016 at 7:40 pm  Comments (76)  

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  1. The Lottery:
    The tone of this short story begins as peaceful and calm. A warm, serene summer day depicts this. However, as the story comes to an end, the tone shifts to one that is still calm, but sickening and horrific. This tone shift is shown through the villagers gruesomely executing a member of their community without hesitation.

    • Good observation, Maddy.

  2. The Lottery:
    A rhetoric device in this short story is irony, both situational and verbal. Situational because leading up to the ending of this story the mood appears peaceful and relaxed. By the end of the story though we realize there was foreshadowing leading all the way up to the ending and the end is gruesome and horrific. There is also verbal irony from the title of this story, The Lottery. A lottery is generally associated with luck and good fortune for the winner; however, in this story the winner of The Lottery is the exact opposite of lucky, since they will be executed in a brutal way by their own friends and family.

  3. The Rocking Horse Winner:
    This story has elements of an ironic fairytale. A fairytale typically starts somewhere along the lines of ‘once upon a time’ or, like in this case “There once was a woman who was beautiful…” (P.220). A fairytale also usually incorporates some life lesson that is learned at the end of the story. In The Rocking Horse Winner this lesson is that if you are too greedy in the end you won’t win. Finally a fairytale also incorporates some element of magic or fantasy. In this case the house whispers
    “There must be more money…” (P.221). All of these points turn this story into a fairytale; however, due to the traumatic ending, this story is changed to an ironic fairytale. Typically in a fairytale everyone lives happily ever after and conflict is resolved. The good guy comes out on top and the bad guy is defeated; however, in The Rocking Horse Winner this is not the case. The good guy dies (the child) and the greedy villain (the mother) survives, making this an ironic fairytale.

  4. Simile: “The skin would give way like silk, like rubber, like the strop”
    on page 195 from the story Just Lather That’s All.

    by George Brar

  5. Imagery: “stroking and re-stroking this skin, trying to keep blood from oozing from these pores, can’t even think clearly” on page 194 from the story Just Lather That’s All..

    by George Brar

  6. Just Lather, That’s All:
    There is imagery created for the reader in this short story. When the author writes “…stroking an re-stroking this skin, trying to keep the blood from oozing from these pores…” (P.194) readers are given a clear picture of the situation that is taking place. This quote also demonstrates the conflict the barber is having with himself. The decision whether or not to kill the man he is shaving.To push a little harder with the razor, or to shave his client like he would nay other. The author shows the audience how quick it would be to kill the man by painting a visual picture. How easy, but how messy. The image of a sharp razor blade stroking the skin, the possibility of blood dripping down the man’s neck, shooting onto the floor. The descriptiveness of the barber’s thinking creates imagery for the audience.

  7. Just Lather, That’s All:
    An example of hypophora in this short story is when the barber thinks to himself “And how easy it would be to kill him. And he deserves it. Does he? No! … What do you gain by it? Nothing” (P.194).

  8. Labour Day Is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind:
    An example of personification in this essay is when the author says “Now Labour Day was yawning, getting to its feet, slouching toward me”

  9. Labour Day Is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind: “cry of the loon, depredations of the racoon, sunburn at noon, and hide-and-seek by the light of the moon.” this rhyme scheme is sued to intrigue the reader while listing the characteristics of Summer.

    By George Brar

  10. Labour Day Is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind: “Cars mournfully crawl away.” This is an example of personification. Cars cant actually crawl or be mournful like human beings.

    By George Brar

  11. Labour Day Is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind: ” The teachers like prison guards.” This is an example of a hyperbole. Teachers aren’t actually like prison guards.

    By George Brar

  12. The Monster by Deems Taylor: he could be callous and heartless to a degree compared to a that would have made a roman emperor shudder.” this Is an example of an allegory as well as a hyperbole.

    by George Brar

    • not an allegory, but it is hyperbole…

  13. The Monster by Deems Taylor: “His second wife had been the wife of his most devoted friend and admirer, from whom he stole her.” This is an example of a hyperbole. He did not actually steal the woman like a materialistic item.

    By George Brar

    • incorrect

  14. The Monster by Deems Taylor: ” He played piano like a composer.” This is an example of a simile. The author is comparing “him” to a composer.

    By: George Brar

  15. Labour Day: “good mourning, Miss Authoritarian.Good-bye, bonfires on the beach. Hello, line-ups, marching in columns of two, standing stiffly at attention,sitting with your hands folded on your desk, keeping your trap shut, Good-bye picnics………” This Anaphora alternates the initial word with good mourning, and good bye in order to compare summer days, and school days.

  16. Labour Day Is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind: The tone is nostalgic because he refers to the time when he did have school. Also he uses diction like nowadays and phrases like “Good morning, miss authoritarian” and “Good-bye, bon fires” to further reminiscent his feelings towards school.

  17. The Lottery:The tone is peaceful and calm because it uses diction like warm, smoothest and blossoming. Most of the villagers are used to the lottery and aren’t really surprised or shocked by the result of it. The tone shifts near the end to a more distressing and creepy tone. This is shown through words like desperately and screamed.

  18. The Lottery: One of the many rhetorical devices Shirley Jackson used is alliteration, for example “Tractors and trees”

  19. The Lottery: The style is informal because it uses average vocab that farmers from the South uses.

  20. The Rocking-Horse Winner: The tone is anxious and desperate and D.H. Lawrence illustrates that by using words like uneasily, frenzy, worry, surprised, nervous and trouble.

  21. Just Lather, That’s All: The tone is suspenseful and Hernando Téllez shows this by using diction like tremble, horrified and timidly.

  22. Just Lather, That’s all: Two examples of similes are “The skin would give way like silk, like rubber, like the strop” and “trembling like a real murderer.”

  23. Just Lather. That’s all: Two examples of parallelism are “on the chair, on my hands, on the floor” and “like silk, like rubber, like the strop.”

  24. -The Rocking-Horse Winner : the tone of the story is greedy/anxious because D.H Lawrence uses diction like more, bitterly, fear, lucre, anxiety, uncanny and uneasiness.
    -The Rocking-Horse Winner : Varies it’s sentences types. Example: “Then something very curious happened. The voices in the house suddenly went mad, like a chorus of frogs on a spring evening. There were certain new furnishings, and Paul had a tutor. He was really going to Eton, his father’s school.” (pg. 230). Simple sentence, complex sentence and compound.
    – The Rocking-Horse Winner: Simile, “The voices in the house suddenly went mad, like a chorus of frogs on a spring evening.” (pg.230). Usage of like for comparison
    – Just lather, That’s All: The tone is anxious/ambivalent and can be identified by the diction “How hot it is getting!”(pg.194), “But i would have preferred that he hadn’t come.” (pg.192),”And he deserves it. Does he?”(pg.194)(he is eagerly contemplating whether to kill or not) and “But what would I do with the body? Where would I hide it?”(pg.194). Anxious because the barber is constantly wanting to kill Torres but at the same time worried of his outcome “Murderer or hero? My destiny depends on the edge of this blade.”(pg.194”. In addition ambivalent because the barber does remain having mixed feelings for Torres making himself having contradictory ideas of whether to or to not kill Torres.

  25. Labour Day Is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind: “Labour Day was like a sniff of the woods or a glimpse of the sea before they led you down to the dungeon.”(pg. 2 paragraph 1) personification; usage of like or as for comparison.
    – Parallelism “…marching in columns of two, standing stiffly at attention, sitting with your hands folded on your desk, keeping your trap shut.”(pg.3).
    -The tone is choleric and Harry Bruce uses diction such as misery, deadly, hate, boring, degrading and despair, to prove it.

  26. Labour Day:”The teachers like prison guards, knew society wanted their institutions to be unpleasant for us inmates; and the worst punishment they could inflict, next to The strap, was a “detention.””Here is a simile comparing school with jail because they are imprisoned and lack freedom. Comparing school to jail makes it a hyperbole too.

  27. Just Lather, That’s All: The tone of this short story is suspenseful. You are constantly wondering how the story will end and if the barber will take the opportunity to kill Captain Torres. The Captain continues to push the barber’s buttons, trying to give him a reason to slit his throat. The story has a surprise ending because he doesn’t kill the Captain and it is revealed that the Torres’ motive all along was to push the barber to the edge. The Captain wanted to die and was hoping the barber would complete the task for him. There is irony in the story because despite being given the opportunity to kill a man he didn’t like and who would have killed him, the barber decides against it and still feels good in the end.
    “It’s hot as hell,” (pg. 191) is both a hyperbole and a simile as the heat is being compared to hell and because Torres was exaggerating just how hot it was.
    This story is full of imagery as scenarios are painted as to how the barber can kill Torres.

    The Lottery: The tone of this short story changes from what it was in the beginning to what it was revealed to be in the end. It started off as a peaceful story but became gruesome and horrific toward the end as it was revealed what the lottery actually represented. The overall tone is mysterious as it wasn’t revealed what the lottery was until the end and the story has a surprise ending. The title of the story is ironic because usually one would think of a reward or a good prize when thinking of a lottery but in this story it is something everyone is trying to lose.

    Labour Day Is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind:
    Simile “Labour Day was like a sniff of the woods or a glimpse of the sea before they led you down to the dungeon.”

  28. Labour Day: “The teachers like prison guards, knew society wanted their institutions to be unpleasant for us inmates. ” Here school is compared to jail using a simile making the school seem like a place where freedom is prohibited.

    • oops, accidently have 2 copies of the same quote

  29. The tone of Labour day is nostalgic because the main character is dissapointed that the fun and stress-free summer days are ending. Where as school is the opposite. “Hello there,lineups, marching in columns of two,standing at attention,sitting with your hands folded on your desk,keeping your trap shut,Good-bye picnics on the flat,sun-baked stone of deserted islands.”Here is one quote where he is reminiscing about the good old past(summer), and has to move on with his life which is not as enjoyable causing the nostalgia to hit so soon.As the story approaches the end, he reveals that he actually does not enjoy summer anymore due to the nostalgia “it taught me that no summer ever repeats itself, friendships must die,good times must always end, and years melt people and beloved laces.Of all holidays,Labour day is the one that makes you grow up, and feel old. Nowadays, I dislike it more than ever” Because every summer he experiences new things but cannot ever experience them again he gets nostalgia that can never be relieved so it would build up, causing him to dislike summers.

  30. The overall diction of Labour Day is sub-standard because the Narrator shows a lot of emotions and looks at the school in a biased way “I hated school. If Tom Hansen 24, of Boulder, Colorado, wins his $350,000-suit against his mother and father for ruining his life with “psychological malparenting,” i’m going to hit the Toronto education authorities for the psychological malteachering” “Here not only does he show emotion, but makes up the word “malteachering” the purpose of using sub-standard is possibly used to evoke emotion about our own summers.

    • not substandard…reread your diction notes…

    • The overall diction of Labour Day is informal because the Narrator treats us like a friend and gives us a biased view “I hated school. If Tom Hansen 24, of Boulder, Colorado, wins his $350,000-suit against his mother and father for ruining his life with “psychological malparenting,” i’m going to hit the Toronto education authorities for the psychological malteachering” “,here he also makes up the word “malteachering” the purpose of using informal diction is possibly used to evoke emotion about our own summer.

  31. Any remaining observations MUST BE POSTED by Thursday, Oct. 13th…. Late postings will be ignored.

  32. The lottery: The ending of the story is a surprise ending, throughout the story it is uninteresting because they are just drawing out of the lottery box but we do not know what the lottery is for which makes the ending much more astonishing when they reveal that the winner gets to be stoned.

  33. I have a dream: The method of development in the speech I think is mainly re-statement because the speech is littered with rhetorical devices. The overall message of the speech was that dark skinned people are being treated unequally. The purpose of having all these rhetorical devices are to make it more dramatic and seem more important, I could say black people are treated unequally because we are targets of police brutality,being forced into certain states,ect.

  34. The monster: “To hear him talk, he was Shakespeare, and Beethoven, and Plato, rolled in one” This is a metaphor comparing Richard Wagner to Shakespeare,Beethoven, and Plato who are all known for creating beautiful elegant things.

  35. The Lottery: uses irony more specifically situational irony because throughout the story you don’t expect the lottery to be something people were actually afraid of, but by the end the story has an unexpected twist of events where you find out that winning actually meant you had to die. there is even irony in the tittle of the story because a lottery is something you strive to win, whereas, in this story the characters have a desire to lose.

    The Monster: uses allusions throughout the speech like, “what money he could lay his hands on he spent like an Indian rajah.”

    Labour Day: uses rhetorical devices like metaphor “labour day is the one that makes you grow up.” As well as personification “now, labour day was yawing, getting to its feet, slouching toward me.” Harry Bruce uses rhyme in the essay, “cry of the loon, depredations of the raccoon, sunburn at noon, and hide-and-seek by the light of the moon.”

  36. In Just Lather, That’s all, the tone of the story is riddled with anxiety. This tone is shown through the structure of the sentences, in that they are direct and often simple. The author doesn’t use complex sentences as much to describe the barber’s thoughts and feelings. They are described in mostly short sentences and this conveys a feeling of urgency to the reader. It conveys the feeling that the barber doesn’t have much time to dwell on his thoughts and must make the decision as soon as possible. Ex: “The soap was drying on his face. I had to hurry.”

  37. The diction of “I have a dream” is formal. The rhetorical devices are used effectively and there is varying sentence length. There are also usage of semicolons and sophisticated sentence structure, such as compound sentences and complex sentences. In addition, the overall tone of the speech is far from conversational- it is full of formality and passion, with certain parts repeated to emphasize its meaning.

  38. In ” I have a dream”, there is a metaphor that compares the lack of justice to bankruptcy. ” But as we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt”.

    • It’s actually an extended metaphor/ analogy

  39. In “the lottery”, there is an example of personification.
    “..where the breeze caught them and lifted them off.” A breeze can’t literally catch anything, so its a personification.

    • not personification…this is only the case when THOUGHTS and FEELINGS are involved…

  40. Oct 13th…

  41. Labour Day: In the third paragraph (below for reference) Bruce uses Illustration as a Method of Development. He uses illustration and tells the thesis like a story. He never clearly states the thesis but he uses the comparison of Christmas morning to show the polar opposite feeling of being back at school.

    “The vocabulary of discipline and insult, the smell of chalk and ink and old chewing gum, the feel of the hardwood bench under your haunches, the sickening realization that things would be this way till the end of an inconceivably distant June… all these awaited us on the morning after going to bed on Labour Day. After Christmas, kids asked one another, ‘Wud ya get?’ After Labour Day, they asked, ‘Who’d ya get?’ I’d say ‘Mr. Such-and-such’ or ‘Miss So-and-so.’ In a cruel flash, I’d learned the name and scowl of the adult would dominate my daylight hours for ten months to come; and the other kid always replied, ‘You poor sucker.’” (P. 3; Labour Day Is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind, Harry Bruce)

  42. The Lottery: The short story is full of multiple symbols. One symbol would be the old black box that they keep the slips in. The black box represents the tradition itself. The following quote is a description of the black box: “The black box grew shabbier each year; by now it was no longer completely black but splintered badly along on side to show the original wood color, and in some places faded or stained.” (p. 148-149). Similarly, the traditions meaning and purpose began to fade to the town’s people. Further, they continued to use the tradition simply because it had always been done just like how the box was used despite its horrible condition.

  43. point one = In The Rocking Horse Winner, the tone is pretty ironic throughout, but is sympathetic towards Paul the further you get in the story.

    • …sardonic? rather than ironic?

  44. point two = In The Rocking Horse Winner, another element of irony is how Paul’s mother receives a huge sum of money yet in exchange she no longer has her sons life. The whole story she was saying how she felt distant from her children and couldn’t love them. The money at the end was ironic and may have made her rethink that.

    • rephrase?

  45. point three = In Just Lather, That’s All, there was a very suspenseful tone throughout the story. It left readers at the edges of their seats in curiosity wondering what could possibly happen next.

  46. Labour Day Is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind contains the metaphor and rhetorical question, “Can a fair-weather romance survive the killer winter?”. Harry Bruce is using a killer as a comparison to a harsh and cold winter. He also compares the weather of summer to a romance.

  47. point four= The diction of I Have a Dream is formal. It is full of sophisticated formal sentences with many rhetorical devices.

  48. point five = In The Monster there are many allusions, such as the line ” What money he could lay his hands on he spent like an Indian rajah.”

  49. point six = The tone for the first half of The Monster is negative, yet it changes later on to an admiring tone.

  50. point seven = Another allusion in The Monster is in the line ” To hear him talk, he was Shakespeare, and Beethoven, and Plato, rolled into one.”

  51. Labour Day is a Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind by Harry Bruce
    First paragraph:
    –Simile – “Labour Day was like a sniff of the woods or a glimpse of the sea before they led you down to the dungeon.”
    –Method of Development – Illustration
    –Tone – worried, mournful, depressed, contemptuous
    –Imagery used throughout the paragraph. ex. “Labour Day was its entrance, the stairway to an aeon of misery, a last meal, a last drag on a cigarette.”

    • many of these points were made in class discussions…I am looking for observations that you make on your own…

  52. The Monster
    It is a matter of being dumb with wonder that his poor brain and body didn’t burst under the torment of the demon of creative energy that lived inside him, struggling, clawing, scratching to be released; tearing, shrieking at him to write the music that was in him.
    This is a compound sentence.

    • Actually, this is a COMPLEX sentence (independent + dependent clauses)

  53. The Monster
    He was one of the world’s great dramatists; he was a great thinker; he was one of the most stupendous musical geniuses that, up to now, the world has ever seen.
    This is an example of epistrophe.

  54. The lottery:
    Mr.Summers said, ” Some of you fellow mind giving me a hand”
    This is an example of a Synechdoche because the hand is being addressed as a entire person

    • …”hand” here refers to help…not the person…

  55. The lottery:
    The tone of the story is suspensful because throughout the story they give little clues that this is no ordinary lottery such as when Mr. Adams told “that over the north village they’re talking of giving up the lottery.” and Old man warner says “pack of crazy fools” another instance is when Nancy a twelve year old girl who does not seem have any bad qualities revealed is called up and A girl says, “I hope it’s not Nancy”

    • suspense kicks in only towards the mid-point of the story…

  56. In the Speech I Have a Dream by Dr Martin Luther King Jr, it begins with a very melancholy tone and as it progresses into the speech the tone begins to enlighten and pertain a hopeful and prosperous rather than gloomy and miserable attitude. The effect of tone switch is used to intrigue the audience and motivate them to support Dr Kings ideologies and pursuit towards the common goal of the time which was ethnic equality.

    By George Brar

    • melancholy isn’t the tone…

  57. The monster:
    “or he could be callous and heartless to a degree that would have made a Roman emperor shudder”
    this is a metaphor comparing Richard Wagner is to a Roman emperor in order to prove how heartless he can be

    • not a metaphor…allusion, hyperbole…

  58. The Lottery:
    The tone changes throughout the entirety of the story, starting with a pleasant and warm feeling with children playing together, as well as a description of a warm and sunny day, to a questioning tone where no one wanted to be picked for “the lottery”, to the sickening ending where Mrs. Huchinson’s own children helped pelt her to death with rocks.

    An example of expletive: “All right, folks,” (pg. 155)
    An example of asyndeton: “It isn’t fair, it isn’t right,” (pg. 155)

    Symbolism in the story can be seen with the names used for the villagers; Mr. Graves was in charge of the lottery box, as if he was preparing the graves, along with Mr. Summers, as if life and death were working together; Adams is the family against the lottery, could be compared to Adam and Eve

  59. The Monster:
    The Diction in this story is formal because the Narrarator is a from a omniscent point of view and he uses no form of slang throughout the story.

  60. Time’s up!


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